How to Get Away With Sexting at Work
My, how the hours seem to drag along during the work week! Despite keeping busy and applying all your willpower on your ability to focus, after around a half hour of uninterrupted work, the mind begins to wonder. It’s not a weak constitution or even laziness, it’s science.
Scientists have shown that one of the best ways to maintain higher levels of productivity is to take regular breaks. Despite the cold, hard facts, employers in much of the western world refuse to impose policies that work with our natural biological rhythms.
Rather than attempting to feed the morale of their employees, our workforce is driven by fear-based leadership, which is not only shown to cause a plateau in moral, but also creates resentment and hostility between coworkers. You need not suffer any longer (unless you’re into that sort of thing).
Here at Victoria Milan, we take working hard seriously and in an attempt to resolve this work-time epidemic we’ve done our best to figure out a fun and sexy solution for you and your lover! Since sexting is arguably the best possible break you can take, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to figure out how make even the worst job a little more satisfying.
Sexting is Good for You
Sexting has become a pivotal part of modern day sex and courtship, and this is largely in part of the accessibility and discrete nature of the act. Young adults juggling school and work, entrepreneurs, and ceos alike are all on even playing fields since nearly everyone has a cell phone. This allows even the busiest of individuals to indulge in a little daytime foreplay.
Not only does a good sext sesh make a lovely break for your mind, a terrific use of creativity and writing skills, but it also gets your blood flowing faster and raises your heart rate. This elevated state is the same thing that happens when you exercise, and despite doing little more than moving you hands.
The released endorphins give you a boost of energy and help relieve stress, thus, making sexting the best possible break-time activity for both you and your sex partner!
Know Your Risks
Everyone sends a text or two throughout the day, whether it’s to figure out what’s for dinner, or even to confirm plans you’ve made for the evening. Sure, you know you’re not really supposed to be texting on the clock, but what’s the harm, right?
Things seem to dangle a bit farther past the border between right and wrong when you’re engaging in full conversations with your wife or your lover that lack any real reason except to have fun. Certainly if you were to be caught red handed, so to speak, your boss would be less than pleased with your performance, no? Will this burn you at the big quarterly review?
At the current time in the US, there are not actually any laws in place prohibiting titillating texts during your shift, unless you’re sending unwanted texts to other coworkers or taking sexy pictures at work. Regardless of the legality or the content of your texts, it is very possible you are violating company policies just by sending messages during your shift.
Even if there is no policy on texting specifically, wasting time while you’re on the clock and certainly raunchy messages will definitely land you in the unemployment agency.
The Trick to Sexting At Work
Despite the argument that this is a really beneficial break on your heavily taxed mind and would certainly boost your output at work, your employer is very unlikely to be empathetic to your need for a little afternoon delight and likely has every right to fire you. There’s only one thing to do about these misguided policies - don’t get caught!
Figuring out how to enjoy your grind while on your grind can be pretty complex, especially if you have a job where people are up and walking around. If you work in an office with cubicles, it can be pretty easy, but we aren’t all that lucky.
Fortunately, technology is in our favor and there are some simple ways to sext around these obstacles.
1) Stake out the operation.
No, this isn’t rocket science, but it could cost you your job as well as your professional reputation if you were caught while sending lewd texts. The only kind of deviant you want to be is with your casual date partner!
To ensure you and your partner’s sex life remain out of the gossip train of the office, you need to do a reconnaissance mission a day or two before your first sext sesh. Right, I know, the whole point of sexting is to be spontaneous, but just like sex in real life, successful at-work sexting does too.
Knowing your boss’s usual schedule allows you to plan your sexy conversation around his or her day. Also, determining which of your coworkers are the cutthroat types and brown-nosers are can help you make the most out of your sexy break without getting caught.
2) Preparing ahead of time.
One of the most exciting things you can do is have a little photoshoot in the morning as you’re getting ready so you can stock up on some increasingly seductive pictures, without having to waste too much time working all your angles while also avoiding a breach in company policy by shooting the risqué pics on company property.
This technically starts your foreplay early and will get your creative juices flowing, which will help you avoid running into writer’s block while the heat is on.
Tip: if you send the pictures in reverse order, it looks like you’re getting undressed. Be sure to include one with either just a tie or a sexy pair of heels if you’re brave enough!
3) Seal the deal.
If you really want to turn things up a notch, enjoy your technological sexcapade to the fullest! Beyond sexting and adult dating sites like Victoria Milan, one of the growing trends in sexy technology takes sexting to a whole new level is the ground-breaking advances in remote access sex toys.
Use wifi to control a variety of motorized sex toys that not only have remotes that can reach across the world, but they are also able to be synced with your phones for an exceptionally customizable and portable sexual interaction. Some of these sex devices may be “worn” during actual intercoarse as well as used on their own, so you can keep the party going even after you’re off the clock.
Not a natural Shakespear or Danielle Steel? No problem. Let your hands do the talking in a way typing on any keyboard never could. Many of the teledildonic (aka cyberdildonic) sex toys can be controlled by as many people as you’d like, just as simply as by sending a link inviting them to “take over”. This allows the person to control the vibrations or movements of the device, including intensity, pulsations, and duration all with the swipe of a finger or stylus.
If you’re sexting your partner while they’re at work:
Figure out if the coast is clear.
There is not a much more humiliation or incrimination occurrence than unexpectedly opening a dick pick or an incredibly naughty sext while you have someone in direct view of your screen.
The best way of opening the discussion in a playful but discreet way is by mentioning a really sexy time you two have enjoyed recently, but be vague!
Try: “We had a lot of fun Thursday night, didn’t we?” It will get them thinking about the same things, and they will most likely wait until they’re alone to respond with what they liked about it.
Whatever your job may be, it only hurts to overwork yourself! Even if you’re single or your spouse is a little too traditional, you can still enjoy the most rejuvenating break of your career.
Make the most of your time by adding sexy time into your daily grind so you can reap the many rewards, and ensure you leave feeling accomplished every work day.
