Not on the Lips - Is Not Kissing the New Black?

Despite having awesome benefits for a committed couple, the profit does not extend to us all. Kissing isn’t for everyone, but the number of men and women choosing to opt out of a lip lock might be growing. Since making out is certainly not getting less fun, nor less advantageous, the trend seems to be growing in response to the swell in casual dating.

Maybe Julia Robert’s famous role as Vivian, a lovable prostitute, made a bigger impact on us than we realised in the classic film Pretty Woman. Despite his good looks and generous pocketbook, Vivian rejects Edward (played by the totally dreamy Richard Gere), her client and benefactor, from kissing her on the mouth.

The young woman claims she does not kiss clients on the lips because a simple smooch had the power to subject professional lovers such as herself to a case of the feels. This would, of course, be bad for business.

As more of us are experimenting with casual sex where feelings are out, will we find that Vivian was onto something? Should we be avoiding swapping spit to help save face? We set out to discover whether kissing really is the pitfall we were warned against or if the perks outweigh the negatives and we could all stand to snog a little more.

Why the Sudden Turn on Kissing?

Romantic tongue-kisses were not documented anywhere in the world until medieval times. Even now, anthropologists can’t seem to agree on when or why humans began kissing.

Maybe it is something which instinctually occured. Others insist the phenomenon evolved from mothers feeding their infants by chewing and passing food between mouths, which was the common practice before food processors and accessible kitchen tools were available.

These days kissing has become a right of passage for many young people. Spin-the-bottle and 7-minutes-in-heaven are just some of the games that have nudged countless teenagers into experiencing their sexuality. Whether it be in a dark closet or held in the nervous arms of your first S/O, a kiss is an important part courting for many of us.

No one has the time to seduce someone anymore, let alone date them. Swipe-right generations are skipping past the complicated love and romance for simple hookups . Maybe they’re not the gentleman you had thought- Perhaps they’re not telling because there was no kiss to begin with!


Kissing is not the same courtship staple everywhere. Researchers in the American Anthropological Association set out to determine just how prevalent the display was in other parts of the world.

It might surprise you to know that around 50% of the people in the study did not partake in a romantic or sexual kiss at all. Even more shocking, findings did not extend equally to the whole continent; many had nearly equal parts team lip-lockers and team kissless. The telling sign of those individuals more likely to be caught making out was simply that they live in socially complex societies.

Some of the universal reasons the many groups of people listed for being opposed to kissing was a general dislike for any sexual acts involving the mouth, mouth-play, and often bad hygiene practice was a concern.

Even in some places where kissing is common, it is not always something acceptable to do in public. Kissing in the wrong place could potentially land you with some hefty fines or worse, prison time.

Other situations that may call for a kiss in other cultures include greeting, showing respect, friendship, and goodluck. Kissing has even been used in different social or religious rituals to signify devotion or sacrament.

Weighing Your Options

Kissing “Pros”

1. Boosted immune system

This means snogging you lover gives you both increased protection against colds, but also less symptoms from things such as allergies!

2. Decreases Stress

Aside from the healthy hormones your body produces when you makeout, a good and long kiss can be a form of mutual meditation for you and your lover, allowing you to release any pent up anxiety.

With “digital stress” creeping into our lives in the form of texts, emails, phone calls, and bombardment from the media, we definitely could all use something to help deal with our unease.

3. Reduces Blood Pressure

Since kissing dilates blood vessels and can get your heart pumping even harder, it is great for your cardiovascular health. Not only does locking lips improve heart health, it also decreases the likelihood of tension headaches and performance problems for guys!

4. Helps Ward Off Cavities

While many of us already try and make our mouths fresh for our make-out partners, kissing will keep your mouth even cleaner! Increased saliva production helps wash away cavity-causing plaque, not to mention it’s usually good incentive to go brush.

5. Burns Calories

Don’t cancel your gym membership just yet! A hot and heavy makeout session can burn as many as 16 calories and will also tone up that jawline, but it is definitely not enough for you to stop working out.

Kissing “Cons”

1. It’s Like Drinking Love Potion

We’re not exaggerating. The sexy cocktail of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin are just some of the chemicals released while you’re making out with your partner. These hormones play a role in us feeling happy, which you might start to associate with being around that person.

Oxytocin specifically is known as the love hormone, but it is so strongly linked to romantic bonding that having too little of it can result in being unable to romantically bond with another person or commit altogether.

2. It’s a Biological Sign of Trust

Your lips may be silent while you’re snogging, but they’re telling your partner a whole lot. Before modern medicine, physical nearness even to close family members meant putting yourself at a certain level of risk. Touching one another means possible catching any virus, bacteria, or parasites they may have.

For this reason kissing subconsciously communicates that you trust this person to some extent. While it might seem minuit compared to full-blown sex, these seemingly small acts wreck enormous havok in our commitment-free sex life because of the subconscious seeds they plant.

3. It’s the Most Balanced Foreplay.

Many people consider this the only sexual act that allows both partners to be on the same playing field. This is because it is the only act where both partners get to penetrate each other at the same time.

This sexual equality is incredibly intimate and can rouse feelings for one another as you both explore the other with identical and incredibly sensitive body parts, no matter your gender or sexuality. Kissing also forces each partner to take a neutral stance and move in tune with one another, despite their naturally passive or assertive character.

4. It Can Make or Break Your Date.

As you share your genetic skill set through your swapped saliva, the dna allows you to assess your partner’s compatibility. This means if this person you’re planning on hooking up with does not mean your biological standards, may just find your libido hitting a brick wall.

While your ability to create healthy children has little to do with how much fun your lover will be in bed, your body will say differently and you’ll be ready to head for the door.

The Consequences of Locking Lips

While couples consider these physiological responses gifts to share, casual lovers may still decide to steer clear with good reason. Not only could locking lips with your casual sex date put a halt to the dirty deed altogether, you also run a much bigger risk of developing more-than-fuck-buddy-feelings for your sexual suitor.

It makes sense that with the shift of courtship and dating into quick and non monogamous encounters that are fast paced and less end goal oriented, comes an equal change in display of intimacy.

Don’t believe us? There’s no better day than today to experiment with your partner and see what fun activities you can come up with in place of your usual makeout sesh. Log into your Victoria Milan account and start chatting up your matches so you can decide for yourself.

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