Exploring the Most Common Fetishes

When it comes to sex, despite all the good parts, things can get a little weird sometimes. Not only are you exposing yourself to another person, but the strangest part can come at any moment when your partner asks:

“Would you like to try ...?”

Exploring fetishes is a great way to get to know a new lover or keep things fresh and exciting with your partner. If the suggestion of solicitous activities is unknown to you, it can be a scary question, so arm yourself with the power of knowledge.

What Exactly is a Fetish?

Fetish (n.) any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation. 

A fetish, also known as a paraphilia, is much like a person’s sexual preference, in that it comes naturally but some fetishes are more mainstream than others, sometimes even being seen as unnatural or deviant. Some fetishes have more than one term to describe them, and many overlap with others.

In contrast, paraphilic disorders are life impairing sexual urges which involve children, unconsenting adults, self harm, or humiliation and often results in taboo or illegal behavior.

• A fetish is something a person craves so much that it can make or break a good sexual experience.

• It is different from a kink in that someone who is inherently kinky is someone who enjoys exploring many different sexual interests while a fetish is a specific sexual fixation.

While it is not 100% needed every time sex occurs, including your lovers fetish guarantees a memorable time. It certainly doesn’t hurt to try something new either, unless you’re into that sort of thing ;)

7 Common Fetishes For Beginners

Foot Fetish / Podophilia

Feet are the most popular body part to lust after, although the fetish is predominantly enjoyed by men. Foot worship is all about humility. Think, serving a goddess and gratefully staying there when you fall to her feet.

The fetish can extend to hosiery or shoes, but doesn’t always, probably due to the eroticized imagery around high heels. Foot Fetishism falls under the umbrella fetish partialism, which is the attraction to any body parts other than genitals.

A foot worshiper appreciates the aesthetic of the foot. They can become aroused just by looking, touching, or involving feet in sex somehow.

How To Begin:

• Give a pedicure or foot massage to ease them in.

• Buy her a cute toe ring or an ankle bracelet and have her model the new gifts.

• Pick out her shoes for the date so you can see her in your favorite pair.

Butt Fetish / Pygophilia

Sexualization of the derriere can be seen throughout history, especially toward females, but women appreciate a nice booty just as much as men.

A shapely butt is a sign of youth and a biological indicator of fertility, explaining the unwavering history of booty popularity. An ass man(or woman) not only appreciates the sloping nuances of butts, but also enjoy squeezing, caressing and slapping them.

Of course, this often includes anal eroticism and anal sex, and you guessed it, butt fetishism is also a subdivision of partialism.

How To Begin:

• Buy her a sexy pair of panties to try on for you.

• Ask your partner if you can spank them during sex.

• Give her a butt massage after her long day - she’ll be the one thanking you!

Voyeurism

This incredibly common fetish is one you might be unaware you have. If you get turned browsing pornography or adult magazines, you are a voyeur. It can watching online or in person.

As young people, we are taught that nudity is private. Even as we got older, mere conversations regarding the naked body and intimacy were only to happen behind closed doors. This fetish explores the forbidden.

When a couple involve a third party in their sex, it is called cuckolding, cuckqueaning, or troilism.

It doesn’t always have to be watching sex, sometimes seeing someone get undressed can be enough to turn on a voyeur. When the person is unaware or unconsenting, however, watching crosses into peeping-tom territory and can easily land you in jail.

How To Begin:

• Watch porn or play it in the background while getting frisky with your date.

• Set up a threesome on adult dating sites like and Victoria Milan.
• If cucking is too risque for you, having sex with your partner in front of a mirror or recording it to watch later are fun ways to replicate the scenario.

Exhibitionism

While a voyeur enjoys watching others, an exhibitionist wants to be watched. Just like voyeurism, the idea is breaking social barriers and doing something inherently “naughty”.

Most people fear being walked in on while changing or while making love, but exhibitionism alternatively pushes the boundaries of comfort.

This fetish gets a bad wrap because of the association to flashers exposing their junk to unsuspecting strangers, but that’s actually exhibitionism disorder.

How To Begin:

• Have sex with your partner near an open window. Bonus points if it’s daytime!

• Log onto your favorite adult dating website and find someone who wants to watch.

• Try masturbating in front of or with your partner.

Narratophilia

This is all about sexual communication and takes many forms including sexting, adult chatting, dirty talking, and reading erotic novels.

Narratophiliacs are people who get hot and heavy when they read or create sexual content. Judging by the hype on 50 Shades of Grey, there are plenty out there.

Using or listening to obscene or lustful words goes against our expectation to be proper and in that way feels rebellious and bad. Exploring your sexuality through perverse linguistics can be incredibly stimulating.

How To Begin:

• Send your sexual partner a quick text about what you’d like to do later while they’re together. If you’re lucky, they’ll reply.

• Suggest listening to an audio version of your favorite erotic novel.

• Call your date before your scheduled meeting time and elaborate on some ideas for the intimate part of the date.

BDSM

Bdsm, short for bondage, domination, sadism, masochism,is a blanketing term identifying many sexual niches, which describes the interplay between a dominant and submissive.

In all subdivisions of BDSM, both partners are willing and usually discuss boundaries and employ “safe words” ahead of time to ensure everyone has a good time.

How To Begin:

• Ask your partner to tell you exactly what they’d like you to do.

• Try using handcuffs and a blindfold to heighten foreplay.

• Ask your lover to bite, scratch, spank, or slap you. Agree on location and intensity in advance.

Pictophilia

If the person you’re watching is looking provocative or if they’re actually engaging in sexual activity, it’s no wonder someone might get turned on.

If you’ve ever watched porn, fawned over sexy imagery, or even had a celebrity crush, you are a pictophiliac. We all know appearances make the first impression, but for someone who is into pictophilia, the visual component is the main focus.

This is the most common fetish for men and women alike and it makes total sense. It all stems back to the biological role a person’s aesthetic plays on attraction. When you’re interacting with a person, sight plays a huge role on how you perceive them and if you are attracted.

How To Begin:

• Set up your rear facing camera on a computer or laptop and enjoy watching you and your lover have sex, or record it to watch later.

• Share your favorite type of porn with your partner.

• Stage an erotic photoshoot with your date.

Sex is about having fun, feeling good, and exploring your partner. If anything feels weird or bad to you, don’t do it. If your date suggests something that’s just not for you, suggest an alternative that’s more your style.

Just as there are infinite types of people, there are limitless ways to interpret sexuality, resulting in many fetishes. The best part about finding your sex partner with Victoria Milan is that we allow you to customize your search results to only include your favorite fetishes in the results.